Shisha Eno Tegami
by Sabishiioni
Summary: The brothers say goodbye. Chapter 2 has the rest of the family. Epilogue to Red.
1. The Brothers

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT.

Warnings: Angst

Mindless Babble:

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_The Bustle in a House  
__The Morning after Death  
__Is the solemnest of industries  
__Enacted upon Earth-_

_The Sweeping up the Heart  
__And putting Love away  
__We shall not want to use it again  
Until Eternity_

_Emily Dickinson_

Raph,

Master Splinter is making us write a letter, he says, to help us cope. Like a letter will take away the grief. How can that be true when just about everything around me reminds me that you're gone? That I'll never get another chance to play a prank on you or have you slap me upside the head?

Every morning, I wake up thinking that you you're still with us. But then I line up for practice and you aren't at my side. Then it hits me harder and more painfully then anything you ever laid on me. We will never spar again. Never race across the roof tops. Never beat up thugs and then go out for pizza.

I can't do this any more, bro! I can't go on pretending like it didn't happen, like you never existed! You were my brother, best friend and hero! I

can't forget you…

The other day, I was looking for something to keep my mind off of you when I found a picture of you that Donnie took with that camera he built. You were doing a kata that Splinter made you do 'cause you did something stupid. I don't remember what, though. Don caught you doing an aerial kick. I always thought you looked so cool in that picture!

Do you remember those snow globes that April got us for Christmas last year? You know the ones that you can put your own picture into? Well, I decided to put that picture of you in my globe.

I guess that's how I'll always remember you, Raph. Strong and fierce, soaring through the air. Forever frozen in that moment of time with tiny plastic snowflakes and glitter swirling around you. A time when you were alive and we were a family. But now there's a gap in my heart that won't ever go away. You're dead, and writing some stupid letter isn't going to change that!

I miss you,

Mikey

* * *

Dear Raphael,

I know we never could really tolerate each other. Even as kids, we couldn't get along that well. I don't think you ever forgave me for that whole fiasco when the city went to war when we killed the Shredder. Or that time with the albino croc. Or that time I called you a ninja drop out. Or that time I pushed you and called you trash. Um… You can stop me at anytime…

But I hope you know that I loved you no matter what happened. You always had my respect, not for your rash plans or your fighting style, but for the loyalty you showed to your family. And for those rare moments when you let your tough guy act fall and showed us the depth of your love for us and those around you. I still remember Tyler, the kid you helped rescue his mother. And even how you befriended Casey. I don't think any of us could've pulled that off.

And I don't ever think I'll ever forget the look on your face when you thought Leatherhead had killed Mikey. The fury that was plain on your face was made all the more terrifying by the sorrow in your eyes. I wasn't sure if you were going to go on a killing spree or have a complete meltdown. I was just happy that it never came down to either one.

After the Shredder tried to kill me, and I lay dying on the couch at the farmhouse, I remember hearing all the stories that you and my brothers told to get me to wake up. I remember your voice clearest, though. And I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you for all the help you gave to me while I was recovering.

I guess, now I never will.

Leo

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Hey Raph,

Things have been strange around here since you died. Mikey hasn't cracked a joke or even smiled and Leo wonders around like he's looking for something only he can see. I guess you could say that the jester's mask is broken and the leader has lost his way.

And me? I would like to say that I've thrown myself into my work, that I'm building new and better things to keep my family safe. But the truth is that I haven't touched anything. I just sit at my workbench and stare at the last TV you broke during one of you tantrums. I know I should fix it but somehow it feels like if I do, then you'll really be gone. I know, in my brain, that you're gone, but for some reason my heart won't let you go.

Silly, huh? I bet you never thought you'd see the day when Mr. Brain couldn't figure something out with logic.

I read last night that in time the pain of loss would ease with time and we could get on with our lives, but how can we move on when part of our soul is missing?

Don


	2. The Family

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT.

Warnings: Angst

Mindless Babble:

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Dear Raphael,

Master Splinter suggested that I do the same as your brothers and write a farewell letter to you, but I really don't know what to say. I guess I just keep waiting for you to show up and say something sarcastic. I know it's silly of me to think that, but you've become so ingrained in my life, I guess I just started to take you for granted. You always came back to me no matter what happened.

I think you would have approved of your funeral. We all drove out to the farmhouse where there's a small lake nearby. Casey, Don and Leo built a small raft while Master Splinter and I prepared … other things. Mikey disappeared the second we parked and didn't show up until nightfall, several hours later. We were getting ready to say goodbye for the last time when he shows up carrying a pack of stuff. The first things he takes out are a string of throwing stars and a leather bag that holds the remains of one of your sais. That was when I noticed a twin bag hanging from his belt He takes the other bag and gives it to Leo. Then he turns and gives Don a star with a red sash tied to it. It takes me a moment to realize that the "sash" is actually one of your extra masks. He reverently hands Master Splinter you training belt as your good belt is still with you. Lastly he turns to me and silently hands the remaining two stars to me. He opens his mouth to tell me that the other one is for Casey, but I shake my head, letting him know that I understand. He gives me a faint smile and then tunes back to his satchel. He takes out a river rock, a willow branch that has been sharpened to a point, a pine cone, a small bouquet of wildflowers, and a wild red rose. As he lays them at your feet he explains why he chose them and I am surprised by the depth of his reasoning. The stone is for you strength and stubbornness, the branch is a symbol of you temper and your willingness to bend the rules if needed be, a pine cone for your protectiveness and devotion to your family and the flowers were to represent your life being cut short. At this point I couldn't hold back the tears, but I was not alone. Mikey saved the rose for last, laying it on your damaged plastron. He said nothing, but each of us knew that it simply represented you and you wild ways.

Your brothers carried your body down to the lake where Casey was waiting with the skiff. Nothing was said as your brothers laid you down and joined Master Splinter in setting the small raft aflame. Casey pushed it out to the middle of the lake where the flames rose, lighting up the night sky. The wind picked up some of the sparks and carried them to join the stars.

I'd like to think that the wind carried your spirit as well.

April

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Hey Raph,

Long time, no see, huh? I know, lame joke. I guess I just don't want anybody to worry about me. You're probably thinking 'why would they worry about you, you hot-headed nut case?' Well I guess it's because I did something stupid after your funeral. 'More stupid then usual?' Yeah. The second we hit New York again, I felt the serious need to go bust some heads. I guess I got a little carried away and your brothers had to pull my butt out of a really big mess. When Don asked me what I was thinking, getting into a fight with about 30 Purple Dragons by myself, I couldn't give him an answer. But I do know why.

I can't believe that you won't have my back anymore. You were my balance and now I can't seem to find it on my own. I don't know if I want to. I don't know how it happened or even when, but I learned to trust and depend on you. I guess I'm almost feeling betrayed that you're not here anymore. You were the brother I lost when I was growing up. And now you're gone and the only reason I don't follow is because I made you a promise to watch out for April.

Maybe we'll meet up again, someday.

Casey

* * *

My son,

Over the years I have watched you grow from a baby turtle to a full fledged shinobi. I have seen you work to hone your body as Leonardo would whet his katanas, becoming the strongest of my sons. I have watched, every day, as you struggled to control your anger and the rage that coursed through you like your own blood. From what your brothers told me, you kept your honor to your dying breath. And Raphael, my son, could not have a prouder father.

As mutants, we were forced to live in the shadows. As Ninja, we learned to use the shadows. But you were the only ninja I have ever seen to befriend the darkness and use it as a weapon. I only wish you had not felt so akin to it.

I remember reading the teachings of a great warrior who said that every living creature is made up of four things- heart and soul, mind and body. I thought about how much it seemed to fit you and your brothers. When the four of you fought as one it was Michelangelo who was the Heart, Leonardo was the Soul, Donatello was the Mind and you were the Body. Together, nothing was impossible. Now that one part is missing, I now fear that a line has been forcibly drawn.

I will make a Tsuru for you as I do with my Master every year.

Splinter


	3. The Others

Disclaimer: I do no own TMNT.

Warnings: Confusion may ensue

Mindless Babble: The title of the story loosely translates into "Letters to the Dead". (Directly translated, it means Dead People Letters)

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Epilogue/ Prologue

The Gathered Ones

They watched. They learned. They marveled at the love expressed. They wondered how this could have happened. And they acted.

"This was not my choice," the woman in black said.

"It was not her doing," added the large, black bird the perched on the woman's shoulder.

"This was not intended," said the man with the quill in hand.

"It must be rectified," said the man with the painter's brush.

"No one should be alone like that," a soft voice said from the shadows.

"This task you have set before me, yet again, will be done. Gladly." This voice is young.

A flash of silver fell as a scythe tore open a portal in the fabric of space. The young child smiled and bowed before slipping through it. The portal closed and the story began again.

Words fell from pomegranate colored lips. "Now we wait."

"And hope," said the writer

"And pray," said the painter.


End file.
